project 52.19

confirmed.

A portion of this week has been spent with nasty colds.  Yes, in June.  

And, although I have hated seeing both of you with runny noses, bad coughs, and pitiful, watery eyes, I have also realized how much I love the role of Mom.  

I always worried about sleepless nights.  If anyone knows me, they know I love my sleep.  And there's not a lot that can keep me awake when I am ready to go to bed.  But, it's so interesting.  As soon as I knew you were not feeling well, all else went by the wayside (including my love of sleep).  I was constantly checking on you when we laid you down to go to sleep for the night.  And, I was up at odd hours rocking one of you when you woke up and had trouble breathing because of your congestion. And when I finally got both of you to sleep, I laid down and just laid there.  Wide awake.  Listening to make sure you were both okay.  

After about ten minutes of that, I realized I couldn't stand it.  I set up camp.  In your room.  I brought my pillow and blanket and laid in the glider.  Any time one of you became restless and frustrated because you were coughing or having trouble getting comfortable, I was up and leaning over your crib trying to soothe you the best I knew how.  Rubbing your back and whispering sweet things to you with my face close to yours. 

It's strange that these few days and nights have been so sad because I hate for you to be sick. But, at the same time, so rewarding for me.  

Even the times when y'all are sick make me aware of just what I was created to do.

It's as if my soul has realized, once again, that I am right.where.I.need.to.be.