project 52.43

unexplainable.

It's strange what happens when you became a mama.  It's like you become this person you never knew you were.  My mama used to do things that I couldn't even understand.  Like staying up all night making Easter outfits and cleaning up puke without flinching.  And here I am.  Doing just that.  

We been sick around here again this week.  Tate, you woke up in the middle of the night a couple days ago and I came into the nursery to give you a paci.  When you wouldn't take it, I picked up up to rock you.  As soon as I picked you up, you puked all over me.  Then, today, I walked in after nap time and Crews, you were picked up and taken straight to the tub.  Throw up was all over your crib.  

And really, it's just what you do once you become a mama.  You don't think twice about it.  You immediately pull that sick baby out of their crib and allow them to nestle into you.  Even when it's stinky or dirty.  You want to care for them with every ounce of your being.  You want them to feel loved and cared for.  Safe and comfortable.  

I read a blog post today and at one point the author said:

"I laid down me to make more of you and it wasn’t a sacrifice but the unexpected grace of motherhood"

And that's just it.  

I don't force myself to be this way.  I don't even make the choice not to mind throw up and losing sleep (which if you know anything about me, you know sleep is precious in my eyes).  

It's just who I am now.  It's the unexpected grace of motherhood.  And I am oh, so thankful that I can experience life this way.