i'm free, i'm free!

On Sunday night I talked with Robin.  She's a friend of my mother-in-law.  

Robin is a lactation consultant and she is so gifted.  She has been such a blessing to me since the boys have arrived.

So, I've been pumping after I feed the boys every time.  I nurse them and then I pump to make sure I keep my supply up.  I've been pumping essentially every three hours since October 25th.  

Let me say that again.

I have pumped every three hours since October 25th!

[Give or take the couple of times I accidentally slept through while the boys were in the NICU and the few times that the boys have slept longer during the night.]

This was something that Robin told me to do so I could make sure I had enough milk to feed both boys without having to supplement with formula.  

My pump has become my third child.  I'm not kidding.  When we get in the car to go anywhere I double check to make sure I have Crews, Tate and my pump.  

Well, when I talked to Robin on Sunday night she told me the the twins are finally big enough and my milk supply is established enough to stop pumping after every feed.  I only have to pump if I'm not able to nurse the boys for a feed (like you would normally do if you were breastfeeding).  

When Robin told me this, I yelled:

"I'm a free woman!" 

I'm down to only two kids!  Well, and Jordan :)

But the pump is no longer attached to me eight times a day!

It's won.der.ful.

[ps.  I know that pumping after every feed has made such an impact on establishing my milk supply so it has definitely been worth it.  But, that doesn't mean I can't celebrate that I don't have to do it anymore :)]

project 52.5

slow.

Slow mornings with y'all are the best.  

Reading books, getting you to smile, listening to you coo and grunt.

I want this first year with y'all to be slow.

 One fourth of your first year of life is already over.  Crazy.

I want to enjoy every single second of every single day.  

I want to slow down.  

I want to choose not to go somewhere.  Not to follow the schedule.  Not to make sure the house is always clean.  

Instead I want to slow down.  Physically and mentally.  Not worrying about my to-do list.  Instead, I want to learn which songs you like.  I want to learn what makes you smile.  I want to take time to cuddle with you.  To rock you.  To dance with you.  

I want to be intentional about slowing down and making memories each day.

I want this year to be slow. 

project 52.4

eye-opening.

Life with two preemies is eye-opening.  Crews, you had inguinal hernia surgery last week so we were in the Children's hospital overnight.  It was so eye-opening.   I have become so aware of just how blessed we are.   

There were children that came in to the pre-op area while we were in there.  Many of the kids knew the nurses by name.  A few were crying, because they knew what was coming.  They had been in that room before.  Surgeries have become a part of their lives.  On a more regular basis.  Thankfully, we have no more surgeries on our schedule for now.  We are blessed.

Health is a blessing. 

While we were there overnight, there were children on the same floor whose families weren't there.  Your room, on the other hand, wasn't big enough.  Both sets of your grandparents were there while you were in surgery and stayed with you afterwards.  Your twin brother, Tate, was there.  Your parents were there.  We are blessed to be so supported.

Family is a blessing.

We live near Duke Children's Hospital.  Some of the best doctors in the world practice there.  Dr. Rice performed your surgery.  He is the best.  We heard from multiple people how amazing he is.  And he was just that.  When we sent you down the hall with the anesthesiologist, the one who stopped halfway down to put your paci back in your mouth because he didn't want you to be upset, we weren't scared.  We knew that you were in great hands.  Because they are the best.  They know how to operate on tiny, little babies like you.  

Knowledge is a blessing.

My eyes have been opened to just how blessed we are.  We should be praising God daily for his sovereign plan for your little life.  We should be praying for those who have to return for more surgeries.  Those who aren't supported with amazing families.  And those who don't have access to amazing doctors with incredible knowledge.  

My eyes are opened. 

We are blessed.

See other Project 52s, here.

::: february goals :::

• Make two presents ::  I've picked out my two gifts to make!  I'm can't wait to get started!
• Read Organized Simplicity ::  I've been wanting to read this book since it came out and just a few weeks ago there was a free kindle download.  So, I downloaded the kindle app to my phone and downloaded the book.  I'm typically not an e-book kinda gal but it was free and I will always have my phone with me so I can read a few pages any time I have a few quiet moments.  Nursing, waiting in line at the bank, etc.
• Organize the pantry ::  Our pantry is out.of.control.  It is just a closet with a few shelves that we kinda made into the pantry.  It is in need of a serious makeover.  On the cheap.  Have any good pantry organization tips?
• Talk sweetly to Jordan :: Carrying this over from January.  My love language is not words of affirmation or physical touch.  Both of which are Jordan's love languages.  I tend to try to love him with my love languages (acts of service and gifts) but these things do not mean as much to him.  The combination of this and my sarcasm make it difficult for me to achieve my goal.  Not trying to make excuses, just trying to recognize my weakness and do something about it.
• Make and monogram an outfit for the boys ::  I'my trying to decide what I want to make.  It's either going to be a jonjon/longall/shortall or a bubble.  With a monogram or an applique.   
• Make a menu and stick to it! ::  This is one of my yearly goals.  Monthly menus.  I didn't do well for January.  But, I've realized that I need a menu list.  I need the flexibility to change our meals but I need to at least make a list of the items we can cook during that week.  Then, we need to commit to only eating out twice during the week (I know twice seems like a lot but right now, with the boys, I don't want to be unrealistic and think that I would cook six nights a week).
• Blog :: Another yearly goal is to blog twice a week.  I don't think I even averaged twice a week during January.  Whoops!  I'm keeping up with my Project 52 (yay!) but other than that, I've had a hard time making the time to blog about other things going on.  I want to make sure I continue to blog because I know things are changing so quickly and I'm going to forget how life is and what our days look like!

Okay, I'm excited to start February!  What are your goals for this month?